No I don't speak Spanish my parents are Deaf!

Recently I was reminded of a story my boyfriend told me a while ago about people expecting him to know Spanish. Just as some background my boyfriend is half Puerto Rican and has a very Hispanic last name. Based on these two factors other Hispanic people have the tendency to immediately start speaking Spanish to him. The issue with that is my boyfriend's parents are both Deaf. This has happened quite a bit to him and he gets rather defensive and uncomfortable when these situations occur. The last time this happened was at the bank. He needed to speak with a banker about something happening with his account. He sat down at the person's desk and waited for her. As soon as she arrived she started rattling away in Spanish. My boyfriend sat there sort of confused for a minute not knowing why she was speaking Spanish to him. He politely said, "Sorry, I don't speak Spanish." The normal response for the banker would be something along the lines of apologizing and getting on with business. Instead, this woman gave him a dirty look and said, "Your last name is Santiago. How do you not speak Spanish?" My boyfriend was just so fed up with people doing this and making such assumptions that he very loudly responded, " MY PARENTS ARE DEAF!"

I feel like this doesn't happen as often with other cultures. I am Jewish and when other people find out that I am Jewish they don't immediately start speaking Hebrew to me. Is it a Hispanic thing? Whatever the case might be it upsets me when this happens to him because he feels like his connection with his Puerto Rican heritage is being questioned. He grew up with the same foods and the same customs. The only thing that is different is that when he says he is bilingual one of those languages is not Spanish. I guess CODAs (children of deaf adults) have this experience a lot. They live with parts of them in so many different worlds that it could become stressful. I sometimes see that in my boyfriend. He doesn't feel completely in the hearing world or the Deaf world or Puerto Rican culture or Haitian culture. I would love to know if other CODAs deal with this same feelings and how they deal with it.

Just getting started

I have had this blog account for a while with the intention I would write about something meaningful. As we can see that hasn't happened. Yes, there have been meaningful thoughts to write down, but I just never did it.

I'd like to take this opportunity to explain what I am hoping to share with you all in this blog. I am a member of a lot of different "subordinate" communities. I am in an interracial relationship, I am the child of a lesbian mother, have recently (in the past 3 years) have become a member of the Deaf community, and I am a plus size woman. At first I was considering writing about one of these categories but they are all so much a part of me that I really didn't want to leave any of them out. Because of this what you will find here is a rich mixture of experiences and maybe a very unique perspective. I may write about one of these topics or all of these topics. Who knows!

I'm hoping my stories are ones that you relate to and/or informative. If you haven't experienced any of these things yourself maybe this blog can be an opportunity to learn something new. Either way, enjoy!